THE BLOWER'S DAUGHTER~~~

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind...

My mind...my mind...

'Til I find somebody new




Gue gak tau harus berbuat apalagi, gue udah usaha selama 2x24 jam ini buat gak ngehubungi Ibran, gue ngerasa sedih banget, ngerasa kehilangan, gue bingung harus ngelakuin apa, gue takut kalo gue tetep seperti ini gue bakal kehilangan rasa buat dia, well that's okay, but what about kalo keputusan yg gue ini bisa aja salah? Sama kayak keputusan yang dulu gue ambil buat mengakhiri persahabatan gue ma Vakhrandi? Gue gak mau tenggelam di lumpur kesediha yang sama. Tapi kalo seandainya gue akhirnya mengalah dan menghubungi Ibran lagi, dia gak akan pernah merasa bahwa yang gue inginkan ini adalah kesungguhan, the worst is he don't even care, gue emang kelewat pesimis, dan tak ayal sikap pesimistis ini udah kelewat sering ngebuat gue ngebuang kesempatan2 bagus dalam hidup gue.

Sebenernya dalam hati gue tau kalo Ibran punya perhatian buat gue, ea meski gak segede yang gue harapkan, well, gue harus bisa ngertiin, gak semua gay bisa memahami filosofi yang gue anut dalam menjalani suatu hubungan, ea, gue harus nyadar, the good part of being gay is you can have sex with anyone you want as long as they want it as well, meski udah pake embel2 BF, da gue tau benar Ibran ini salah satu jenis yang begini.

Jujur aja, gue bener2 bingung, gue gak tau harus ngapain sekarang, apakah gue harus menyerah dan looking for someone new? Padahal gue udah membulatkan tekad buat ngejalani dan ngeberi apapun yang harus gue berikan buat jalan bareng ma Ibran, I will die, I will bleed, if that what it takes!

Udah lama gue gak complicated kayak ini, gue juga gak tau kenapa gue begini, dan yang bikin gue heran, gue malah pengen cerita ke Kevin tentang Ibran, tentang keputusan gue buat menjadi biseks, Kevin adalah sahabat terbaik gue, dan gue yakin dia akan support gue, tapi kalo gue sendiri belum bisa yakin ma jalan yang sedang gue telusuri, gimana gue bisa minta support Kevin?

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH, why is everything so confusing????

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