IF YOU HAD MY LOVE~SUPERSTAR~YA SUDAHLAH [THE MEDLEY]

IF YOU HAD MY LOVE

Holaaaa, lama ea gak jumpa ma B? ahahahahaha, jah, temen2 pada kemana ea, pada gak pernah comment lagi di Blog B huhuhuhu, padahal akhir2 ini kan B udah rajin nulis blog :p ehehehehehe. Seminggu terakhir ini gue sibuk aktif kembali di MANJAM, dan cieeee, gue dapet "BF" ahahahaha, kenapa pake tanda "? ea karena kan blom BF yang beneran, baru BF gitu aja, yang ntar niatnya bakal jadi BF beneran kalo udah ketemu. Gue suka ma dia, jujur sejak awal liat profil-nya gue udah suka banget, karena foto profilnya terlihat keren, dan kayaknya emangnya orgnya keren, but the problem is, he's totally gay, totally sex minded, and totally too envious, so pasti, itu tadi pasti udah banyak yg "ehem2" ma dia, sebenernya dari awal gue udah bisa liat kalo he's not what I'm looking for (Uniform, Bisexual, and Not Sex Minded), tapi kalo gue selalu mau nurutin mau gue, selamanya gue mungkin gak bakal dapet pasangan, masa gue jadi straight gagal, trus jadi homo juga gak sukses???? so pathetic banget kan? Makanya gue mencoba, dan well, maybe I will lose my virginity with this bad boy, uhhhh, I like bad boy, gue jadi kepikiran buat ngebentuk tubuh dan merawat tubuh sebaik mungkin jadi ntar waktu ketemu and making love for the first time it will be so so great ahahahahaha, oke that was my blinded mind 24 hours ago, yea yea shame on me.

Trus makin lama-lama semakin gue nyadar, semakin gue pikir, apakah gue udah memilih pilihan yang terbaik buat gue? Trus apakah kalo ntar gue udah kasih jiwa dan raga gue (ceile, sekali2 puitis dumz akhh) apakah dia mencintai gue seperti yang gue harapkan? karena kayaknya yang dia mau dari gue cuma sex, well actually he mention it as clear as well, so.... tadi juga gue sms dia untuk pertama kalinya, 2x, gak ada balasan sama sekali, mungkin dia lagi ML saat itu ya, lagipula dia bilang, call me ea beib kalo kamu udah di Jakarta, kurang jelas apalagi tuh? ahahahaha, yea yea yea, I'm just a stupid not too straight but not too gay person LOL. 24 hours and it's fading minutes by minutes leave me with confusing mind...

Now if I gave you me, this is how it's got to first of all I won't take you cheating on me
Tell me who can I trust if I can't trust in you and I refuse to let you play me for a fool
You said that we could possibly spend eternity, see that's what you told me that's what you said
But if you want me, you have to be fulfilling all my dreams, If you really want me babe

You said you want my love and you've got to have it all, but first there are some things you need to know
If you want to live with all I have to give, I need to feel true love or it's got to end.
I don't want you trying to get with me and I end up unhappy, I don't need the hurt and I don't need the pain.
So before I do give myself to you, I have to know the truth, if I spend my life with you

If you had my love and I gave you all my trust, would you comfort me?
And if somehow you knew that your love would be untrue, would you lie to me?
And call me baby?



SUPERSTAR


Di tengah ke-galau-an dan kegundah gulana-an hati (ciee cieee, jadi pujangga nih gue), terus gue keinget ma temen blogger bernama Vincent (well I mention him in my previous blog), yang kira-kira seminggu atau dua minggu lalu add FB gue, ahhhhhhhhhhh, gue suka aja ahahahahaha, lha dia kan Uniform, Kind of Bisexual, and Seems Not Sex Minded, OMG gue banget ahahahahaha, dan ngebaca blog dia, kok gue ngerasa ada kemiripan dilema antara kami, maybe he really can feel what I feel, matching banget. Gak tau, sebenernya sebelum dia add FB gue, gue udah ngerasa gue tetarik ma dia kok sejak baca blog dia, masalahnya, gue gak tau gimana ngontak dia, dan, yaelah, gue kan shy shy cat gitu, gue kagak pernah bisa deh gunain pick up line, atau terang2an nunjukin rasa tertarik gitu, trus tadi gue BBm-an ma Andre, my blogger soul mate, gue bilang ke dia kayaknya gue coba deketin Vincent aja ea, si Andre langsung komporin banget, ikhhh kayaknya tuh anak ma Stephie bakal bahagia banget kalo gue walk out totally as gay ahahahahahaha, obsessed ea ngeliat B jadi GAY 100%

Trus si Andre bilang "Loe tau no hpnya?"
"Yaelah, meneketehe lah, pan gue mau minta comblangin ma loe?!"
"Bukannya kmrn loe udah tanya ma dia tuh di comment FBnya?"
DZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGG, Oh iya ya, gubrak, Andre langsung nyadarin gue sebelum gue terbang ke langit ke-7, it's totally clear he didn't have any interest with me, secara, dia aja gak respon waktu gue tanaya no hp-nya ahahahahaha shame on me part 2.

Trus si Andre bilang kalo gue harus berjuang, ahahahahaha, berjuang buat apa baby? it's totally clear I am a failure as a gay LOL, gue cuma nestapa sambil nyebar2 PIN BB, biar banyak stok temen buat diajak ngobrol kala malam minggu ngejomblo gak punya someone spesial buat disms-in atau diajak epun2an mesra ahahahahahaha

Tapi menurut gue Vincent emang orangnya keren deh, ahahahaha, he's kinda Prince Charming i always dream of LOL he's might be some kind of Superstar LOL


People always talk about all the things their all about
Write it on a piece of paper,got a feeling I'll see you later.

Baby take a look around, everybody's getting down
Deal with all the problems later,bad boys on their best behavior.

I like the way your moving, I just get into the groove and then
If you just put pen to paper, got that feeling I'll see you later.

Make your move, can we get a little closer?
You rock it just like you're supposed to,
Hey boy I ain't got nothing more to say, cos you just make me wanna play.

There's something bout this,lets keep it moving.
And if its good lets just get something cooking.
Cos i really wanna rock with you, I'm feeling some connection to the things you do.

I don't know what it is,that makes me feel like this,
I don't know who you are,but you must be some kind of superstar,
Cos you got all eyes on you no matter where you are!



YA SUDAHLAH


Akhirnya, gue cuma berusaha buat menghibur diri gue aja lah, at least gue punya sohib2 yang bisa gue ajakin buat hang out, BBM-an, sms-an, dan epun2an, so technically, I'll never walk alone, dan gue let it flow aja lah, ber-Ya Sudahlah- aja, buat apa gue mikirin hal2 yang ngebuat gue sedih ahahahaha, sisi positifnya, gue akan selalu jadi un garçon pas comme les autres and Mr Not Too Straight and Not Too Gay, emang di kala gue sedih dengerin lagu Bondan - Ya Sudahlah somehow bisa ngebuat gue sedikit optimis, ea biar sedikit yang penting ada optimisnya kan? ahahahahahaha, emang bener juga, gak semua mimpi bisa terwujud, gak semua cinta terasa ramah, kalo semua mimpi selalu terwujud dan semua cinta selalu terbalas, mungkin dunia gak berasa indahnya, karena sesuatu terasa indah karena adanya ke-tak indah-an, dan sesuatu terasa membahagiakan karena adanya rasa kesedihan, it called BALANCE, ahahahaha, jah jah jah gue malah makin puitis bermain kata2, gagal BF-an ntar gue malah jadi Pujangga Angkatan Milenium nih? ahahahahahaha

Ketika mimpimu yg begitu indah tak pernah terwujud..ya sudahlah
Saat kau berlari mengejar anganmu dan tak pernah sampai..ya sudahlah

Sempat kau berharap keramahan cinta,tak pernah kau dapat..ya sudahlah
Dengar ku bernyanyi..lalalalalala
heyyeye yaya dedudedadedudedudidam..semua ini belum berakhir

Apapun yg terjadi, ku kan slalu ada untukmu
Janganlah kau bersedih..cos everything's gonna be OKAY